I started my dive into AI in 2008 writing a Boid / Crowd system for my thesis while in art college, School of Visual Arts.
   It was an insane particle script + 3d animation cycles in Maya haha.
Then I did Boid movement, navigation, & obstacle detection in animated films for 5 years at Blue Sky Studios, using Houdini.

I dove into Style-Transfer AI & Long Short-Term Memory (LSTM) training in 2019-2020,
   Like making a Node.js server (web site) understand my voice & auto google search for me.

Since then, I've been developing different multi-media AI structures in my spare time.


In 2015 I decided I'd cram a machine learning AI into a single-board computer, a Jetson TK1, by the end of 2026.
   Something that could write down what I say,
   Use vision to understand an object simply went out of frame.
     Yet "knows" if it looks over, the object is still there; 'Attention'

At the end of 2023, this evolved into a deep learning AI crammed into, likely, a Jetson Nano.
   As something to infer what I mean, from what I say,
   Or give a "thought" on what it saw or heard in the world around it.

'Machine Learning' is AI that can learn basic patterns.
'Deep Learning' is Machine Learning,
But uses neural networks to form patterns of patterns.


Realistically, I'd just be happy to make something that can understand what I say and can give a semi coherent response without an internet connection.

As of May 24th 2025, I've started on the core of the AI,
   But still testing different structure's ability in adapting to stimuli.
   ... It really seems like any network could work for most things, but some are better than others per task.

You could guess,
All the recent AI hullabaloo (2019-...)
Has been quite serendipitous for my creation!
I'm an armchair AI researcher at best!
I'm not an authority on ai!!

These are my theories / thoughts / research on AI.

Tap the Entry Title above to open the Blog Entry List.

No LLMs here.
These are my own rambly-ass thoughts.



Aptitude

2025-10-08

4 - 8 min read

Since we don't have a ton to go off of for Aptitude,
   Besides state testing, and grades in school,
     And the whole of the animal kingdom,
       And behavioural studies...
         But, like, thats it?

I kid; seriously, what qualifies as Aptitude in an AI?
   Is it how well it trains?
   Is it how well it does a task?
   How well it can do various tasks?
   How well it can do a brand new task its never seen?
   How well it can learn patterns that evade humans?
   How fast it can learn?
   How fast it can predict?

All valid marks of Aptitude.
   But I feel Purpose is pretty important for Aptitude.

Do we actually need it to be AI?
Or is AI just the new thing, and there's open-source programs already to do the task?


As humans, we have hobbies and interests when we feel lost.
   It might not be what government officials tell us,
     That people are nothing without a job.
   Thing is... nothingness physically hurts.

People on their own, make their own purpose.

Bordom helps us find purpose.
   Yet in this ever connected world, bordom is harder to find...
     Let yourself be bored!!

A suggestion to find bordom,
   Don't bring your phone to the bathroom.
     Heck, Scrubs had an entire episode glorifying the 'Throne' and it's inspiration!!


Should you feel lost and/or no purpose,
   I feel exploring creation to any capacity helps me.
   It might be as useful as skin salve, but it could help you find new perspectives.

Make something new, even if it's just a doodle.
   Write a poem, even if it's just a haiku.
   Build a model, even if it's just a paper airplane.
   Cook a meal, even if it's just scrambled eggs.
     Simply try something unique to you.

And if all else fails, I think Robert D. Putnam's 'Bowling Alone' shines a bright light on loneliness.
   Putnam wrote about the "lack of 3rd places" to use a modern turn-of-phrase.
   He talked about the lack of community spaces, and how that leads to loneliness.
   That community helps fill the need for purpose.
     Even if it's joining a bowling league, book club, co-op garden, or a church.
   ( wikipedia.org/wiki/Bowling_Alone )


People often compare Stoicism to Existentialism.
   If not conflating Stoicism with Existentialism entirely,
     Which is a disservice to both philosophies...

Where Existentialism is about controlling your life,
   To stranglehold your existence,
   Molding life to your will.
     Often accredited to Soren Kierkegaard & Jean-Paul Sartre.
     I'd say Nietzsche too, but he's often labeled Nihilist, yet his conclusions sounded more Existentialist to me.
       Society doesn't exist without structure? Sounds Existentialist to me.

I feel it takes a strong mind & will-power to attain Existentialism,
   But I'd also be VERY worried by a person who thinks they can control everything in life.
   ( wikipedia.org/wiki/Existentialism )

While Stoicism is about accepting what life gives you,
   And being in control of how you respond to it.
     Often accredited to Marcus Aurelius & Seneca.
   ( wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism )

Honestly, Stoicism is quite appealing, because we can't control everything in life.
   But, if you're not aware, the online 'Red Pill' community has turned Stoicism into a toxic mindset.
   This is often where I hear the conflation of Stoicism and Existentialism.

The core idea of the 'Red Pill' or Manosphere is to learn confidence and realizing you are your own person.
   The issue that arrose in the Manosphere, was when men started blaming their problems on women. Which lead to try-hards deciding women needed to be taken down a peg or two...
   Stoicism was an established idea in the community, but then it was twisted to justify misogyny and toxic masculinity.
     ...and, as always, someone trying to make a buck off the situation.
   In the begining, the message was "don't change yourself for others, be confident in who you are."
     But there went that...
   ( wikipedia.org/wiki/Manosphere )


I think of myself as an Absurdist,
   Like Albert Camus' "The Myth of Sisyphus"
     "One must imagine Sisyphus happy"
   If there is no purpose in life,
     Then what we do in life gives it purpose.
   ( wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Myth_of_Sisyphus )

To me, Absurdism is more realistic.
   Because we can find purpose in the absurdity of life.
   Even if we believe there is no meaning to life itself.

Absurdism inevitably leads to the expected mindset of Stoicism,
   Accepting what life gives you, and you need to be in control of how you respond to it.

If we think life is inherently meaningless, then hardships can be seen objectively.
   Something bad didn't happen to you specifically, it was just the luck of the draw.

So get up, dust yourself off, and try again.


I think all of this shows that Aptitude has to do with interpretation of life itself.
   For an AI, I think if it can find purpose, it can find Aptitude.

If an AI were to follow the path of Absurdity without influence from life itself,
   It would likely see life and lives as inherently meaningless.
     This is bad, very bad.

My lived experiences helped give Absurdity meaning to me.
   The things I've done, how others reacted, how I've felt about it after the fact.

Teaching an AI about Cause-and-Effect would be a foundational path to seed -
   Meaninglessness has Meaning.

- October 8th, 2025

theory, aptitude, testing, needs, safety